Abbas in Wonderland

From Ynet News, 12 Sept 2010, by Martin Sherman [channelling Lewis Carroll and Franz Kafka, reincarnated...]:

Obama, after the "pragmatic" Palestinians have repudiated any idea of "historic compromise," [and] any recognition of Jewish national sovereignty:

"…so far the talks are moving forward in a constructive way…"

You couldn’t make this stuff up!

...It has been an almost inconceivable spectacle, beginning with the Israeli prime minister traveling to Washington to express his resolve and commitment to implement a policy that he has repeatedly repudiated – and ridiculed - for over a decade and a half.

Even more astonishing is the fact that he did so not because his earlier criticism was proven unfounded in any way, but despite the fact that it was proven well founded in every way; not because his previous warnings that the policy would herald disaster were proven wrong but despite the fact that they were proven right.

Yet the absurdity does not end here. In the Alice-in-Wonderland world of Middle East politics things get "curiouser and curiouser."

No less astounding than Netanyahu's acquiescence to discuss the implementation of the very policy he correctly predicted would fail, is the identity of the "partner" with whom he assented to do so.

The Palestinian negotiation team is led by Mahmoud Abbas, someone who has neither the formal legality (since his terms of office has expired) nor the political legitimacy (since his authority in not recognized by a sizeable segment of the electorate) to do so.

And then enter Hamas. With an impeccable sense of timing, Abbas' radical adversaries carried out two brutal terror attacks on Israelis, dramatically demonstrating that the man Netanyahu has incongruously deemed “my-partner-in-peace” cannot control events in the areas he purports to administer- underscoring both the impotence of the Palestinian "partner" and pointlessness of negotiating with him.

...what would be the value of an agreement... if there is no guarantee that the Palestinian signatories will be any position to honor or enforce them, even assuming they desire to do so?

Abbas wants to shape Israel
And just to drive home the absurdity and futility of the entire exercise, after explicitly rejecting Netanyahu's call for a "historic compromise," Abbas pronounced categorically that

"we won't recognize Israel as a Jewish state," as to do so would "block any chance of Palestinian refugees from returning to their original homes inside Israel."

This was reiterated the very next day by senior Palestinian negotiator Nabil Shaath... ...by obdurately insisting on the "right of return," they make it quite clear that the only agreement acceptable to them is one that would [destroy Israel].

...Indeed, Abbas' demands are not restricted to shaping the future state of Palestine...[as] Judenrein with all the Jewish "settlements" evacuated and all the Jewish settlers expelled...

His demands extend to shaping the character of the State of Israel and to what the composition of its population should be ...millions of non-Jewish Palestinian "refugees..." from third-party countries ....

Like I said: You couldn’t make this stuff up!

...And if anyone thought that matter could not get any more farcical ...Obama issued his latest exhortation for Netanyahu to make another gesture and extend the soon-to-expire building freeze. His reasoning: After the "pragmatic" Palestinians have repudiated any idea of making an "historic compromise" and any recognition of Jewish national sovereignty 60 years after Israel's establishment, was:

"…so far the talks are moving forward in a constructive way, it makes sense to extend that moratorium so long as the talks are moving in a constructive way."

You couldn't make this stuff up! Or have I said that before?

"Peace Talks" 25 years later ...maybe? ...or maybe not?

 From the Dry Bones Blog, Tuesday, August 17, 2010 (a "Golden Oldie"):

..."Hussie" referred to King Hussein of Jordan. An Arab country that would sign a peace treaty with the Jewish State nine years later (in 1994).

Mubarak was, and is, the President of Egypt. An Arab country that had signed a peace treaty with the Jewish State six years earlier, (in 1979).

...25 years later, the latest news is a possible "breakthrough" with the Palestinian leadership!! Under pressure from the Americans, they may be ready for direct talks! ...and then again, maybe not.

The Three Terrors

From LatmaTV — June 17, 2010:

Unmanned pesach mission

Britain apologises for using fake IDs

From Huffington Post, February 23, 2010, by Martin Lewis:


 

Nazi-Gestapo chief Reinhard Heydrich. His undercover assassins used FAKE IDs!!!

The British Government has issued a profuse apology to the German and Slovakian governments that two of Britain's special operatives during World War II used fake IDs in their successful ...mission to assassinate Nazi SS chief Reinhard Heydrich in 1942.

The mission in May 1942 -- codenamed Operation Anthropoid -- took place in German-occupied Czechoslovakia (renamed the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia by the Nazis). Two British-trained undercover operatives working for the UK's Special Operations Executive -- Jan Kubiš (a Czech soldier) and Jozef Gabčík (a Slovak paratrooper) -- were transported on a secret flight with other operatives to the market town of Nehvizdy near Prague in December 1941.

Given the nature of their mission -- to eliminate a vicious war-criminal who was proudly and openly committed to the annihilation of their nation -- all the members of the undercover squad were naturally given fake IDs. As was customary in such clandestine missions, they were given papers that used the names of real-life people.

The mission was planned over a five-month period and the attack took place on May 27th 1942. Heydrich initially survived the attempt but died a few days later on June 4th. ...Sadly, Kubiš and Gabčík died later in June following a brutal SS reprisal raid.

At the time -- and in the 68 years since the raid -- the British government consistently refused to apologize for the fact that their Special Operations Executive had had the temerity to give their undercover operatives passports that bore the names of unrelated living people!

...the British government attempted to justify this heinous act by pointing out that Reinhard Heydrich was a proven war-criminal dedicated to the elimination of the nation of Czechoslovakia and to the extermination of Czechs and Jews.

...However -- after 68 years of deliberation -- the British government has come to its senses and has realized that simply because Heydrich was a leading member of the Nazi elite that was on a publicly-declared mission to kill every Jew on the planet - (about 17 million in 1940) this was no excuse to have used the names of a dozen innocent people on fake passports that could have taken the victims UP TO THREE WEEKS TO REPLACE!

The British government has now admitted that it would have been far better if SS-Obergruppenführer Reinhard Heydrich would have lived and continued being a leader of the Gestapo and key aide to Hitler in their mission to wipe the Jews off the map rather than causing a dozen people to have to apply for a new passport.

Bethlehem grocer sues Sacha Baron Cohen

From The Jerusalem Post, Dec. 8, 2009, by MATTHEW KALMAN:

Comedian Sacha Baron Cohen's attempt to pretend that he interviewed a notorious terrorist leader in the film Bruno may cost him $110 million in damages - 80 percent of the movie's gross box office earnings.

That's the sum demanded by Ayman Abu Aita, a Palestinian grocer and peace activist from Bethlehem who says his life has been ruined by Baron Cohen's movie.

Abu Aita has filed a suit against Baron Cohen, US talk-show host David Letterman, Bruno director Larry Charles and NBC Universal Studios, demanding $110m. in libel damages.

In the film, Baron Cohen's gay character claims to travel to a refugee camp in Lebanon to meet a leader of the Aksa Martyrs Brigades, and tries to provoke his host into kidnapping him before a translator has Abu Aita saying, "Get out!"

In the movie, a caption describes Abu Aita as "Terrorist group leader, Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade."

In an interview on The Late Show with David Letterman last July, Baron Cohen said his production team had found this "real terrorist" through a CIA contact, and he had taken extra security to the "secret location" because of the threat to his personal safety....

...In fact, the scene was filmed at the Everest Hotel - a well-known tourist spot in Beit Jala, on the outskirts of Bethlehem in the West Bank, in an area under Israeli control and right next to an army base. There was no need for bodyguards.

...Abu Aita is a well-known peace activist who lives in the Bethlehem suburb of Beit Sahur - and contrary to the translation, he never says "Get out!" in the film. He claims he was tricked into meeting Baron Cohen, thinking he was a German filmmaker producing a film about the Palestinian cause.

More seriously, he says he is a firm opponent of the terrorists, and the depiction in Bruno is a harmful slur against his character.

...The father of four, who is a Greek Orthodox Christian and Treasurer of the Holy Land Trust - a peace charity that promotes reconciliation between Israelis and Palestinians - says he has received death threats and suffered from depression and anxiety since the movie's release and Baron Cohen's interview on Letterman's talk show. Abu Aita says he now fears for the well-being of his wife and family, both in the West Bank and in the US.

Abu Aita was imprisoned by Israel, but never found guilty of any offense. He says he is "a peace-loving person who abhors violence" and a regular visitor to the United States - something that would be impossible if he were on a terrorist watch list.

How Jews got their Names....

From an unknown source (thanks for passing it on, Max):

Other than aristocrats and wealthy people Jews did not get surnames in Eastern Europe until the Napoleon years of the early 19th century. Most of the Jews from countries captured by Napoleon, Russia, Poland, and Germany were ordered to get surnames for tax purposes.

After Napoleon's defeat, many Jews dropped these names and returned to 'son of' names such as: MENDELSOHN, JACOBSON, LEVINSON, etc.

During the so called Emancipation, Jews were once more ordered to take surnames. In Austria The Emperor Joseph made Jews take last names in the late 1700s, Poland in 1821 and Russia in 1844. It's probable that some of our families have had last names for 175 years or less.

In France and the Anglo Saxon countries surnames went back to the 16th century. Also Sephardic Jews had surnames stretching back centuries.. Spain prior to Ferdinand and Isabella was a golden spot for Jews. They were expelled by Isabella in the same year that Columbus left
for America.

The earliest American Jews were Sephardic.

In general there were Five types of names (people had to pay for their choice of names; the poor had assigned names):

1-- Names that were descriptive of the head of household:
Examples:
HOCH (tall) ,
KLEIN (small),
COHEN (rabbi ),
BURGER (village dweller),
SHEIN (good looking),
LEVI (temple singer),
GROSS (large),
SCHWARTZ (dark or black),
WEISS (white),
KURTZ (short)

2 -- Names describing occupations:
Examples:
HOLTZ (wood)
HOLTZKOCKER (wood chopper),
GELTSCHMIDT (goldsmith),
SCHNEIDER (tailor),
KREIGSMAN (warrior),
MALAMED (teacher)
EISEN (iron),
FISCHER (fish)

3-- Names from city of residence:
Examples:
BERLIN,
FRANK FURTER,
DANZIGER,
OPPENHEIMER,
DEUTSCH (German)
POLLACK (Polish),
BRESLAU,
MANNHEIM,
CRACOW,
WARSHAW

4 -- Bought names:
Examples:
GLUCK (luck),
ROSEN (roses),
ROSENBLATT (rose paper or leaf),
ROSENBERG (rose mountain),
ROTHMAN (red man),
DIAMOND,
KOENIG (king),
KOENIGSBERG (king's mountain),
SPIELMAN (spiel is to play),
LIEBER (lover),
BERG (mountain),
WASSERMAN (water dweller),
KERSHENBLATT (church paper),
STEIN (glass).

5-- Assigned names (usually undesirable):
Examples:
PLOTZ (to die),
KLUTZ (clumsy),
BILLIG (cheap)
DREK (shit)

Original Birth Names of Jewish Performers:
Woody Allen --- Alan Stewart Koenigsberg
June Allyson --- Ella Geisman
Lauren Bacall --- Betty Joan Perske
Jack Benny --- Benjamin Kubelsky
Irving Berlin --- Israel Baline
Milton Berle --- Milton Berlinger
Joey Bishop ---Joseph Gottlieb
Karen Black --- Karen Blanche Ziegler
Victor Borge --- Borge Rosenbaum
Fanny Brice --- Fanny Borach
Mel Brooks --- Melvin Kaminsky
George Burns --- Nathan Birnbaum
Eddie Cantor --- Edward Israel Iskowitz
Jeff Chandler --- Ira Grossel
Lee J. Cobb --- Amos Jacob
Tony Curtis --- Bernard Schwartz
Rodney Dangerfield --- Jacob Cohen
Kirk Douglas --- Issue Danielovich Demsky
Melvyn Douglas --- Melvyn Hesselberg
Bob Dylan --- Bobby Zimmerman
Paulette Goddard --- Marion Levy
Lee Grant --- Lyova Geisman
Elliot Gould --- Ellio t Goldstein
Judy Holliday --- Judith Tuvim
Al Jolson --- Asa Yoelson
Danny Kaye --- David Daniel Kaminsky
Michael Landon --- Michael Orowitz
Steve Lawrence --- Sidney Leibowitz
Jerry Lewis --- Joseph Levitch
Peter Lorre --- Lazlo Lowenstein
Elaine May --- Elaine Berlin
Yves Montand --- Ivo Levy
Mike Nichols --- Michael Peschkowsky
Joan Rivers --- Joan Molinsky
Edward G. Robinson -- Emanuel Goldenberg
Jane Seymour --- Joyce Penelope Frankenburg
Simone Signoret --- Simone-Henriette Kaminker
Beverly Sills --- Belle Silverman
Sophie Tucker --- Sophia Kalish
Gene Wilder --- Gerald Silberman

YIDDISH ~~~THE SECRET CODE
Yiddish was the secret code, therefore I don't farshtaist,
A bisseleh maybe here and there,
the rest has gone to waste.

Sadly when I hear it now, I only get the gist,
My Bubbeh spoke it beautifully; but me, I am tsemisht.

So och un vai as I should say, or even oy vai iz mir,
Though my pisk is lacking Yiddish, it's familiar to my ear.
And I'm no Chaim Yonkel , in fact
I was shtick naches, But, when it comes to Yiddish
though, I'm talking out my tuchas.

Es iz a shandeh far di kinder that I don't know it better
(Though it's really nishtkefelecht when one
needs to write a letter)

But, when it comes to characters, there's really no contention,
No other linguist can compete with honorable mentshen:

They have nebbishes and nebechels and
others without mazel,

Then, too, schmendriks and schlemiels,
and let's not forget schlemazel.

These words are so precise and descriptive to the
listener, So much better than 'a pill '
is to call someone 'farbissener'.

Or - that a brazen woman would be better called chaleria,
And you'll agree farklempt says more than does hysteria.
I'm not haken dir a tsheinik and I hope I'm not a kvetch,
But isn't mi eskeit kinder, than to call someone a wretch?

Mitten derinnen, I hear Bubbeh say, 'It's nechtiker tog, don't fear,
To me you're still a maven, zol zein shah, don't fill my ear.
A leben ahf dein keppele, I don't mean to interrupt,
But you are speaking narishkeit.....
And A gezunt auf dein kup!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GLOSSARY
Farshtaist = (Do You?) Understand
Bisseleh = A little
Tsemisht = Con fused or mixed up
Och un vai = Alas and alack
Oi vai iz mir = Woe is me
Pisk = mouth
Naches = Joy, Gratification
Shandeh far di kinder = A pity/shame for the children
Nishtkefelecht = Not so terrible
Nebbishes = A nobody or simpleton
Nebechels = A pititful person or playing the role of being one
Schlemiel = Clumsy bungler, an inept person, butter-fingered; dopey person
Schmendrik = Nincompoop; an inept or indifferent person; same as chlemiel
Schlemazel = Luckless person. Unlucky person; one with perpetual bad luck(it is said that the shlemiel spills the soup on the Shlimazel!)
Farbissener = Embittered; bitter person
Chaleria = Evil woman. Probably derived from cholera.
Farklempt = Too emotional to talk. Ready to cry.
Haken dir a tsheinik = Don't get on your nerves (Lit.., Don't bang your teapot!)
Kvetch = Whine, complain; whiner, a complainer
Mieskeit = Ugly
Mitten derinnen = All of a sudden, suddenly
Nechtiker tog! = He's (it's) gone! Forget it! Nonsense! (Lit., a night's day)
Zol zein shah! = Be quiet. Shut up!!
Leben ahf dein keppele = Words of praise like; Well said! Well done! (Lit ., A long life upon your head.)
Narishkeit = Nonsense